Tips to help you: Distinguish between love and habit

Photo: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

When is it better to stop and say "no" and is it possible to cultivate love if there is a habit? This is revealed to us by experts in the field of psychology.

When a partner appears in our lives, it starts with the thought: "Finally!" Here comes my love." The first joint walks, trips, passionate dinners - a long-awaited romance, he reports "Superwoman."

However, the period of chocolates and flowers sooner or later reaches reality. How to interpret if you are in a relationship full of love or habit and routine?

Love is not what it seems

For one person love is a strong emotional and physical attraction, for another warmth, care and endless tenderness. Ideas about love develop from childhood: the father gives the mother a huge bouquet of tulips or the main characters in the film get married.

We see one side of the coin, thus idealizing the concept of "love". At first glance, this is not bad - a healthy idea of ​​family values ​​is formed, but such idealization can lead to depression and disappointment.

Love is a huge emotional contribution of both partners, the ability to listen, to care, to be silent, to talk, to accept, to support and most importantly, to forgive. Sometimes we can't sort out our feelings: it seems that you feel better than ever with this person, but then why are there so many quarrels and misunderstandings?

How to recognize a habit

Bonding is a feeling of closeness that is largely based on sympathy and adaptation. People can become attached to many things, such as a comfortable apartment, a favorite pair of slippers, a red cat, or a boyfriend.

A healthy attachment to someone can positively affect the person because it allows the development of positive emotions. However, if you do not have adequate control over the situation, it can lead to an unhealthy attachment.

If in a relationship both partners suffer and lack love, but still stay together because they are afraid of loneliness, this is an unhealthy attachment. They both understand that they are not meant for each other, but they cannot separate for fear of being alone. These are basic signs that the set together is due to habit.

There is a lot of "I" in your relationship

When you build relationships according to your principles and to satisfy your whims, it is usually reflected in sentences like: "I was thinking - let's go on vacation, to the sea, you know how much I need sea air."

In love, this should not happen, in love there is only "we", and all issues are solved together, so it is correct to say: "What do you think, maybe we should go on vacation, to the sea?" Let's breathe some sea air and enjoy the sun together?".

You see only his/her best qualities

You notice only the strengths of the partner, his positive qualities and are completely blind to the weaknesses, imperfections and negative aspects. In love, we accept a person with all his flaws. Yes, it is, but it is for the best, and anything that can be fixed, we will fix.

You are waiting for changes, but you don't want to change

In the relationship with your partner, you are waiting for changes, you are waiting for a new fairy tale and emotions. Of course, we want the relationship to progress, but that requires decisive action from both the man and the woman.

Every argument is drama for you

Drama occurs when there is a lack of love in a relationship. When you want, don't talk rudely about your partner behind his back and don't humiliate him in public. But if you are in love and experience subtle, uncertain feelings, you will always want extreme moments: intense emotions and adventures, without thinking about the consequences and without accepting a different opinion.

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