An unwritten rule that repeats itself: Why do so many relationships end after just three months?

Photo: Profimedia

Every relationship starts similarly – with butterflies in the stomach. When we first meet someone, we put on so-called rose-colored glasses and see everything through the prism of the ideal. In those first few weeks, we live in the clouds, but then, somewhere around the third month of the relationship, our rose-colored glasses slowly start to lose color. At that point, the relationship we have will either seem like the best thing ever, or we'll be a little confused and unsure if it's the right one – or not. it says "Woman".

They say it takes exactly three months to really get to know a person. But the matter is a little more complicated than it seems at first.

According to a major survey conducted by dating app Inner Circle, many new love relationships don't last past this critical point. As many as 68 percent of the participants had at least one relationship that ended after just three months. The reason for this seemingly common occurrence is – the emotional gap.

What is the emotional gap?

"The gap in feelings is a real phenomenon that we constantly witness. One parterre "falls" faster on the other. Sometimes we accuse them (such partners) of love bombing – showing affection that seems too quick and too soon. But in many cases, it's not so sinister, explains relationship expert Crystal Cansdale.

It's about the difference in how much time each partner needs to understand if the new relationship suits him/her, that is, if the person is worth committing to or if it's time to break up.

This gap occurs most often in relationships between men and women, and the reason probably lies in the different emotional functioning between the sexes.

"The gap in feelings can explain a lot. In relationships between men and women, women generally need the first few months to assess whether they really like the man they are dating. They build feelings based on the same opinion, shared values ​​and the way their partner interacts with others. Men are more likely to make a quick decision.

However, there are ways you can bridge this gap – and it has to do with your dating style.

According to Cansdale, at first one should "play by these rules":

Go slowly – see each other once, at most twice a week. It is important not to overdo it and to give yourself time. It is not good to rush, and at this pace you will be able to really get to know your partner.

Be honest with yourself – if you don't feel what you need to feel, be honest with yourself and your new partner – don't use the emotional gap theory as an excuse and don't wait for feelings to appear that won't.

Stick to your principles – don't let his/her behavior cloud your view and affect how you see this relationship. Remember what's really important to you and what you don't want to give up, and what just "doesn't work" for you, and stick to it. If all the key ingredients for a good relationship are there for you – like chemistry, the same values, and an equal amount of investment – ​​you might really have something worth giving it a shot.

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