Interview with Kristina Arnaudova: A girl who lost her mother in tears said to me: "Can you be my mother?"

Kristina Arnaudova / Photo: Martin Šiškovski/Stefan Sokolovski

At a time when many children face peer violence, Kristina Arnaudova and her association "Happiness Project" are working on a children's play on exactly this theme, with the children's drama studio "Neverland".

Right now, this extremely humane and tireless woman has decided to return to music, and together with her new song "Forever", she is giving away a vacation for two of her fans. There are always many topics to talk about with Kristina, and in the interview for "Sloboden Pechat" she opened her heart.

About music, about family and about the sad stories that she faced throughout her life helping children, she tells honestly and in an authentic way.

You are a mother, you work dedicatedly for the benefit of children with the "Happiness Project" association. Peer-to-peer violence is happening all around us, and the tragedy in Belgrade has raised many questions for all of us. What did you ask yourself when you heard about the massacre in the Belgrade school, in your opinion, are there any main culprits for what happened?

- "Project Happiness" as an association that works with children at social risk, meets daily with children who are victims of peer violence, bullying and, unfortunately, domestic violence. That is why all the projects we do are to give them a hand, to socialize, to get out of that environment, at least for a moment to feel valuable and loved, talented and to give them the opportunity to develop in an environment that will treat them without prejudice.

For two years now, I have been personally working on an entire national strategy to deal with and protect against peer violence, recognition, treatment of child victims and treatment of child abusers. We applied the strategy as a whole project with many activities and points in several places, organizations, institutions, which have the opportunity to distribute grants, but believe it or not, we were rejected from everywhere. The reasons for that are a mystery to me, because if that is not a priority, if our children and their mental and physical health are not a priority, then the
what future does this country hope for?

We decided to act independently without any help, so on June 8 at MNT, our children's drama studio for children with fewer opportunities "Neverland" will premiere a children's play about peer violence "Eh da movolev...", which will be performed authentically children who themselves are victims of bullying and will tell their stories. It will be just the beginning because I will personally engage that play so that as many children and parents as possible can see it and actively start thinking about that topic, what are the consequences of bullying and what kind of children they raise in their homes.

The consequences of peer bullying are, unfortunately, very bad, as we have seen for ourselves in recent years, and we can only find the fault in ourselves, in the system, in not acting and in ignoring the problem, both as institutions and as families.

What kind of children are Maxim and Mateo? Is there fear or questions in you and your husband if you will be able to lead them on the right path?

– They are wonderful children, as any mother would say about her children. We try everyday to teach them to be people in the true sense of the word, to treat everyone equally, to be kind and cultured, and to be themselves. We do not force them to do anything, but if they have a desire, we help them and encourage them. Fear of what they are like on the outside, what they will be like, how they will manage in this society that is becoming more and more difficult to raise children and be a parent, but also to be a developing child, every day. That's why we talk a lot with them, especially with Maxim, who is 12 years old, and we discuss all topics openly. We try to create psychologically healthy children first, and whether they will be the best in school or sports or whatever, we leave that up to them. As parents, we try not to set high expectations for them, because this creates great trauma and frustration in children, which, unfortunately, a large number of parents, who are painfully ambitious and want to realize their ambition through their children, are not aware of. . And here is another problem in today's upbringing.

Kristina Arnaudova / Photo: Stefan Sokolovski

Is there an emotional incident with a child/family that you helped with "Project Happiness" that you will never forget and that keeps running through your memories?

– Ugh, there are many such moments. Years of work, with hundreds, if not thousands of children, brings many memories and happy, but also painful moments. I try to make them forget their painful moments while they are with us... One of the moments I will never forget is a girl who lost her mother a few years before I met her, and lived with a problematic father. After a while, with tears in her eyes, she approached me and, unexpectedly for me, said to me: "Please, can you be my mother, I love you very much." For me it was both a shock and a strain, because I was not prepared for such a question. I explained to her that I will always be there for her when she needs me, but no one can replace her mother. Another moment I will always remember is when a girl came to our summer camp wearing only old slippers. At dinner I asked her if she was ready for tomorrow, to climb a mountain, and she shyly said she couldn't because she didn't have any shoes. Then I asked her what size she was wearing, and when I realized we were wearing the same size, I took my sneakers off my feet and gave them to her. There are countless moments like this, especially the great joy of children who, for example, have never celebrated a birthday and we will organize it for them. Those children look forward to small things, a normal lunch, attention, being treated with respect. Therefore, we should not act blind, as if they do not exist. Each of us can make a child happy with a small gesture, who will remember that moment for the rest of his life. They are all around us. A huge number of children in our country live in poverty and therefore the support that companies and individuals give us in all our projects is of immense importance. Considering that we are rejected on almost all the calls to which we apply with projects. And why is that so, well, let those "expert" commissions ask themselves. Of course, they should know that their "NO" will not stop me from creating projects and finding ways to implement them and that "Project Happiness" will continue to exist despite the fact that most of the time large funds go to organizations whose projects no one has heard of.

On one occasion, you mentioned to me that your children didn't even know you were a musician/singer when they were younger. Do they now perceive you as a public figure?

– No, I'm just a mother for them, and I want it to stay that way. At home we don't talk about my work, career and so on. They don't know all my songs and they are not my fans. And I'm totally OK with that. They know more that mom helps poor children than that mom is a singer. And that is perhaps more important for their development and for the development of their values ​​and what they will be like in the future, as people.

Kristina Arnaudova / Photo: Stefan Sokolovski

You have a wonderful song "Forever". What was that pivotal moment that made you want to sing it right now and it will be this song?

– That was the song that touched my heart, in a way that made me want to sing again. That's the only answer I have to this question. I recorded it, without any expectations, I just wanted everyone to hear it, because such a song deserves to be heard. Vesna Malinova is the key person, who didn't give up on me and when I told her that I never wanted to sing again, she still made songs for me and played them. We have a special relationship with her, and our careers are connected in a unique way, she for me and I for her. We talk without words, we understand each other with a look.

If you were to start from the beginning with music, but in this day and age, would you go the same way again: festivals, promotions, performances, all the things that are less and less available today?

- I would go, yes, but I would be more active, I would perform more, I would play and I wouldn't take so many breaks. I have a big break between each album. I really wanted to retire. I'm still like that. But that is not good for public life. The moment I noticed that there were too many of me, I would withdraw. Then I started taking breaks because I had to, I became a mother, who looked after her children alone, without the help of relatives, friends, neighbors. Just me and my husband. And my husband was in RK "Metalurg", who at that time were constantly on the road, playing champions league, plus SEHA league, so out of 7 days a week he was at home barely three, and when he was at home he was always in the gym... So, my breaks were somehow forced, but also my decision, because I wanted to be present at every moment of my children's childhood, so that they would not feel the lack of a mother. Music requires time off, rehearsals, performances, playing late, then sleeping late. That was simply not acceptable to me at any point, so I quite consciously put music on the back burner. And I don't regret it at any point. That's why today I'm a mom for them, not a mom-singer.

Kristina Arnaudova / Photo: Martin Šiškovski

You are known as a person who likes to give, and your new project is a prize game - a trip to Ohrid for two. Tell us more about this game…

– Ah, it's in conjunction with the promotion of my new FB page (wasn't the old one hacked, so I had to make a new one) and in conjunction with the promotion of "Forever". A very familiar concept in marketing. And I wanted to make two people happy with a summer vacation. I hope there will be two who haven't been on vacation in a long time and really need it. So visit my new FB page Kristina Arnaudova and join.

Will the "Colorful Summer" camp of "Project Happiness" be held this year, and how are you coping post-pandemic with support from volunteers and larger companies and in other humanitarian actions?

- The summer camp for children with fewer opportunities has been held for seven years in a row, and even when partial support from the City of Skopje stopped, companies and individuals gave so much support that in 70 hours we collected all the funds needed for the camp. This year we have a camp that will be held in Slovenia, with the support of the "Rotary Club Sever Skopje", but a new camp concept is also planned, i.e. a camp excursion around Macedonia, because the largest number of children we work with have not been anywhere throughout Macedonia. Soon we will make an official announcement, and this time we hope for great support from the public and companies. In the meantime, on June 8, we are waiting for you at the premiere of "If I Could..." at DDS Neverland, a play about peer violence.

So we are working a lot, we have not stopped at any point, and I will continue at that pace. Because thousands of children need us!

Kristina Arnaudova / Photo: Martin Šiškovski

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